In Flagrante Delicto
by Ruuutabaga
Summary: Mitaka is new to his job and witnesses something he really wishes he hadn't. Unfortunately no one else seems to think it's that odd. [Kylo Ren/Rey. Hux/Phasma. ONE SHOT] [Part One of Basket of Fruit]
I haven't written anything in about 8 years. Not joking. Nothing, for 8 years. Then I found Reylo and had -ideas- and I tried and failed at a few of them, then one day I woke up at 4 in the morning (Which is the normal time for me), got a cup of coffee, and sat down and typed this up over the course of the day. I'm wildly out of practice and I wasn't ever the most prolific writer by any stretch to start with so where this came from I have no idea. I could have probably fiddled and prodded this some more, but mostly I just wanted to get it out. I barely remember how tenses work. Is it writers block if its been 8 years?

This actually has a lot more Phux in it then I intended honestly, but I just got carried away by the idea of them playing footsie. I ship it, OK? Don't judge me. More notes on stuff I thought about at the end.

Warning, there is sexy times from an outsider POV, but they're not particularly sexy in my opinion. I wasn't really sure what rating to put this under so I probably low-balled it.

Enjoy!

Mitaka actually enjoyed his job, even if some days he did feel a bit like a glorified gofer. He'd only been there just shy of a month, so he was still the low man on the pole. Today he had been instructed by his direct superior Hux to deliver these files to Kylo Ren, a man that he was definitely not terrified of, not even a little. Stepping out of the elevator, he turned right down the hallway towards Ren's office. The evening sun shone through the windows of the office building, painting the walls on the other side of the hall orange. The view was easily one of his favorite things about this job.

The hallway was empty, most of the other employees having gone home for the day. This was Mitaka's own last stop, a simple delivery before he cut out for the day, although he still had to pick up cat food before he went home.

As he approached he noticed that the assistant's desk was empty. When he had started out there had been a short dark haired woman there but after a week she had been replaced by a taller girl, one he'd only seen in the breakroom twice now. Brown haired and friendly was about all he had taken from their admittedly sparse interactions. The thing that had struck him the most about her honestly was her somewhat peculiar hairstyle, always pulled back into 3 buns. Apprehension filled Mitaka. He'd been hoping he could simply hand her the files and be spared interacting with the man. Part of him wanted to just leave the files on her desk, but that wasn't the most secure of practices. He wasn't sure of the file's contents, but information security was a concept that Mitaka held close to his heart.

It wasn't that he was afraid of Kylo Ren. More that he simply found the man… intimidating. Tall, broad, and prone to outbursts. His temper was legendary in the building and Mitaka had been warned early on to try and avoid him, or failing that to stay on his good side. Striding past the desk with a sigh, he paused as he went to raise his hand to knock on the darkwood door. Hesitant, he ran his hand through his short-cropped hair before gathering his courage. He was just delivering files. That was all. He could do this. Deliver the files, leave, pick up cat food and go home to Mojave and Bubbles McFlufferson the Third.

Third of what he didn't know. His nieces had named the cats.

He raised his arm again and knocked solidly on the plain black door. He waited a moment, listening for a cue to enter. Hearing none, Mitaka knocked again while turning his ear towards the door. Perhaps the man was on the phone? He'd been assured that he hadn't left for the day. There! He'd heard a noise, something that sounded like a voice. Maybe one telling him to enter? What was the worse that could happen if he entered without getting permission, even if it was Ren? Interrupt a phone call? He didn't have to engage the man in conversation, he was simply delivering files.

Gripping the doorknob, he turned it and started to enter. He kept his head bent slightly as he entered and took two steps in, looking up after a moment. "Sorry to interrupt sir, but I was told to deliver..." Mitaka started before trailing off to stare in horror at the sight before him.

His first impression was that of Skin.

On Skin. Lots of Skin.

Ren's Skin on the Girl's (what was her name again? Something with an R. Rita? Rachel?) Skin. She was spread back on the desk with her side to the door, her leggings hanging off one leg, and shirt rucked up past her breasts. Grunting sounded in the large office punctuated by the slap of Skin. Ren was hunched over her, belt undone and the buckle jingling, pants pushed down enough so he could thrust-

Mitaka stopped processing then, might of stopped breathing too, desperately trying to unsee what he was seeing.

Which was Kylo Ren fucking his assistant on his desk.

 _Fuck_.

He knew he should have just left the file's on her work area. The couple on the desk didn't really pause in their coupling at his entrance. Mitaka wasn't even sure if they were aware that he'd entered. He struggled to do anything, turn away at the very least, but he was still gaping in horror. He couldn't tear his eyes away. Perhaps finally sensing that they had an audience, Ren's thrusts slowed and paused (The girl beneath him seemed to squirm then, turning her head to bury her face into her partner's shoulder) and he turned his head to look towards the open doorway. Dark eyes met Mitaka's own. The severe expression on the man's face was probably what broke Mitaka from his stupor.

"I WAS JUST DELIVERING FILES!" He nearly screamed at them and brandished said files before him. Ren's face didn't really change, though one dark eyebrow lifted. Probably at Mitaka's continued presence. Which reminded him just how much he did not want to be here, seeing his superior's bare ass or the bare side of the girl (Seriously, what was her name? Raquel?) or how her hips continued to cradle his-

"SIR!" he bleated, like a soldier presenting themselves to the drill sergeant for punishment. Not knowing what else to do, he flung the files in his hand at the floor between him and the desk, uncaring how they landed, condition of the pages be damned. About facing as quick as he could in the midst of the flurry of suddenly loose pages, he rushed out the door, hand trying to catch the knob. His first try missed and he was forced to turn back towards the door, unintentionally glancing back in at… At whatever _that_ was. Shaking hands finally grasped the knob, giving it a sharp yank to close with a slam. Resting his forehead against the cool wood, he tried to calm his racing heart without much success.

What should he do now? Should he notify someone? HR department? Let them know that such, such… _things_ were going on in the building? But what if they were all already gone? At a loss, Mitaka fled down the hallway, almost at a run, away from the office and everything it contained.

Hux! He suddenly remembered, the one who had sent him to the deliver the files to start with. He would tell Hux!

"SIR! Sir, he's… He's sleeping with his assistant!" Mitaka burst in, exclaiming. Hux sat in a conference room at a hardwood table with paperwork spread around him, a pen in one hand and another tucked behind his ear. More were scattered across his work space. Phasma, Hux's own assistant, sat across from him with her head bent over her own pile of paperwork. Her hair, usually neatly styled, was messier than usual as if she'd been running her hands through it. A blonde strand hung over her eyes. Hux's own red hair remained perfectly coiffed.

"What." Hux replied flatly. Mitaka was new, but had come highly recommended from another branch. So far Hux had no complaints for the man's work though at times he seemed a little high strung. Though if he was as given to histrionics as he seemed at the moment perhaps it would bear keeping a closer eye on him.

"Ren! Sir! He's sleeping with his assistant! I walked in on them! In...In Flagrante!" Both of them continued to show no reaction. "The brown haired girl with the weird hair!" Mitaka blurted.

Hux finally lifted his head from his work, meeting Mitaka's gaze. The man was red faced and breathing heavily, eyes wide like he had seen something terrifying. If Mitaka had indeed seen what he suggested, Hux could perhaps understand the sentiment.

He had no desire to see Ren's ass, ever. None the less, this situation merited dealing and he would reassure Mitaka to the best of his ability. Or at least until the man left him alone to continue working.

"Oh. I should hope so." Hux voiced, sounding nonplussed, before making to go back to his paperwork.

"What?" Mitaka replied, sounding absolutely at a loss.

"I said I should hope so. I don't imagine to know the dirty details of their relationship but if he wasn't I would wonder at it." Phasma's snort echoed his statement. A moment later Hux felt a stocking clad foot ghost along the outside of his foot, toes working gently across the boney part of his ankle.

"...What?" Mitaka sputtered. Hux finally looked back up, setting his pen to the side. He folded his hands in front of him, long fingers intertwining as he looked over Phasma's head at the bewildered man.

"Why is this a hard concept for you? If they weren't I would be surprised. To be frank, it'd be a little bit odd." Really, Mitaka had never struck him as dense before. Meanwhile, the foot had grown more daring, sliding from his ankle to his calf and slowly moving up. He could hear the slide of fabric from beneath the table and was almost surprised Mitaka didn't seem to catch it.

Mitaka looked absolutely scandalized. "Sir, you can't be serious!" His voice had risen a few octaves to an almost shrieking level and his face was getting redder by the second. "You mean to tell me that you, you're _endorsing_ that?!"

"Why ever would I not? I know you're from a smaller branch in a smaller city, but surely that was the norm there?" Mitaka had turned a color that Hux thought was best described as Puce. Perhaps that one art course he had taken for a humanities credit was being put to use after all.

"Surely it wasn't so backwater a place. I expect you would as well if put in the same situation, though I could do quite well without the details." he continued on. Mitaka took two steps back towards the door, reaching one hand blindly behind him to grip the door frame. He looked like he was on the verge of collapse, which Hux fervently hoped he did not. That would involve more paperwork, no doubt.

With an inarticulate cry, Mitaka spun away from them. He braced himself against the door frame and the words he spoke seemed to come at a great personal struggle. "Yes. Well. I just thought I should, Uhm. Bring it to your attention, sir. Sirs. Sir and Ma'am. Good night." His piece said, Mitaka seemed to give up on whatever it was that held him in place and ran.

"You really should have told him that Rey is just filling in for Jessika while her girlfriend is out on maternity leave." Phasma stated after Mitaka had fled out the door, looking as if the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels. Hux looked blandly back.

"It's not my fault that Mitaka doesn't know his co-workers after a month." Hux replied, expression still uninterested. "If he did," he continued, "he'd know that it's normal for a married couple to be fucking." A pause. "Have we sent Jessika a congratulatory fruit basket?" he inquired, taking in Phasma's nod.

"Still, Sir." Phasma spoke, her own expression equally as bland. Hux tried not to shift as he felt the foot run up his calf, stroking past his knee to stop on his thigh. "Mitaka might begin to think that it's normal for the boss to be… _Fucking_ …" She paused here, letting the syllable come out on _pop_ and Hux definitely did shift then as her foot slid even higher into his lap, caressing. "Their assistant." she finished. He stared at her, holding her gaze, before slouching and allowing his own legs to stretch out. She let her foot slowly fall, dragging along his skin with that same rustle of fabric from earlier until she stopped on his ankle. Her eyes were fixed on him in a way that belayed her seemingly bored expression.

"Yes, well," He cleared his throat. "let's finish this paperwork and we can discuss this in more _detail_ later." Hux stretched his own limb out, hooking her ankle towards him and tangling their legs together. Personally he thought his own relationship to be far more scandalous than Ren being caught, how had Mitaka put it? 'In Flagrante Delicto' with his wife. Though perhaps it would do to have a conversation with him about not using company time for such things.

Or at the least locking the door.

Phasma across from him hummed softly, bending her head back to her own pile of work. Hux smiled slightly, before settling to resume his own work. Now, where had he put that pen?

Just stupid extra stuff I didn't know where else to put it

-Fuck if I know what sort of company this is. Something with numbers. DON'T LOOK TOO CLOSE AT THIS.

-Mitaka eventually figures out that he is not expected nor is it the norm to sleep with his superiors. He avoids Ren for 3 months. He totally never hides in the bathroom or under a desk. He is above such things. Ren thinks it's absolutely hilarious. Rey was very embarrassed and she at least makes sure the doors locked in the future.

-Hux has known Ren for a long time (or at least it seems like that to both of them). His sophomore, Ren's freshman year of college. They were not roommates. They don't hang out really besides the occasional drink though Ren has watched Hux's cat Millicent for him a few times. Enough times that he has a spare litter box in his apartment and spare toys and knows the brand of food she gets.

-Phasma is former military, OTH Discharge for something only Hux knows the truth of. No one is quite sure how she got the job and no one is asking as people think they're both terrifying. They've been sleeping together for years yet no one seems to know (Kylo knows and does not give a flying fuck. Rey thinks it's sweet.). Hux thinks people think he's not secure enough to sleep with a woman who is two inches taller and probably could bench him without much effort. He does not spare it much thought.

-Hux cannot keep track of his pens to save his life.

-Ren's been married to Rey for 4 years. She's 25 now, He's 32. They met when she was 17, but didn't start sleeping together/seeing each other until she was 20 and he was 27. They got drunk and got married a 8 months later. Don't ask. Everyone who knows them both well think it's hilarious. She goes by Rey Solo now, which confuses a lot of people who know she's married to a dude named Ren. She also calls him Kylo and Ben interchangeably.

-Finn and Poe are dating and Ren will never ever admit he likes her stupid friends. The feeling is mutual. Rey has caught all three of them drinking beer and watching Hockey together enough times to know they're all full of crap. She also knows how many cat gifs have been shared in a group chat between the 3 of them. BB8 is a corgi and likes to chew on Kylo's shoes. This is why he is a cat person. He also has spare toys and a bed and knows what brand of food the dog eats. Rey did not buy these things.

-She works part time as a mechanic, (Kylo's dad's shop and that's also how they met when she got dragged to Christmas at the Solo-Oragana household. It was both amazing and a shitshow.) and part time as a student, something in a STEM field. She also does all the scheduling and paperwork now, since Han lets it build up until you can't see the desk for the paperwork and Chewie's writing is illegible. She's on break from school for the summer and the shop is closed for a few weeks due to renovations. The roof, which Leia had been saying needed work for years had ripped off in a windstorm. Rey wasn't there, but Han was and he nearly shat himself when he almost got hit by a girder. They're also taking this time to expand the building. Leia is the mayor of the city they live in.

-Jessika Pava has a girlfriend who's having a baby. She's good friends with Rey which is how Rey is the one who's helping out. They met when Rey brought him lunch one day. Everyone knew he was married (Due to Hux sending him a congratulatory fruit basket with "CONGRATULATIONS REY AND KYLO ON YOUR MARRIAGE! In large glittery print) but didn't know anything about who. Not even if it was a man or a woman. She was not what anyone was expecting. She was mid crash course on the job before Agnes got a text and ran out screaming she was having a baby lord help her.

-Chewie is a massive, burly, hairy human with the thickest accent ever and co-owns the shop. Han jokes sometimes that Ben- wait no, he calls himself Kylo now, inherited his height from Chewie. Kylo always looks disgusted and Leia just rolls her eyes. Rey wonders sometimes about it which. Ew.


End file.
